She Clicked on a Link, and You Won’t Believe What Happened Next!

… Nothing is what happened. Or at least if you call anger, annoyance and strong desires to quit Facebook/Twitter once and for all ‘nothing’, than yes, nothing happened.

Clickbait

Don’t you just despise such links when they pop up all over your social media feeds? I know, I know, hate is a strong word, not to be flung about willy nilly, but I really really REALLY do hate such click bait titles/links/etc, and the fact that they seem to jump out at you from every conceivable website these days doesn’t help matters. I realize of course that this stuff is mostly to draw traffic for advertising purposes, etc. but that knowledge makes it no less annoying.

Clickbait-headlines

Dear social media experts: giving your mindless piece of writing a ‘clickable’ title sounds all well and good in theory, but in reality this is quite annoying for the readers. It makes one feel like one is being treated like an inattentive toddler that has to be enticed with bright primary colors or promises of rewards to do anything. Seriously guys, I realize of course that a good title can mean the difference between high or low traffic to your site, but getting people to just click on the link shouldn’t be your website’s sole focus! That’s like a shop with a beautiful facade but crappy merchandise: the facade will get people in the door, sure, but that doesn’t mean you’ll actually sell anything.

So yes, instead of focusing all your energy on just getting people to click on links to your site how about, oh I don’t know, maybe create content that’s actually interesting enough to make people WANT to share it and keep coming back to your site? Or is that too much to ask?

It’s too much to ask isn’t it? Sigh..

 

Afloat

Afloat in a ray of late afternoon sunshine…

toddler-dress-balloons

 

Of Street Food, 3am Sales and Crimes Against Fashion

I love being home in Lahore. I love meeting up with old friends and being part of rambling family dinners and events. I love being in the city I grew up in, visiting my old haunts and eating the same old street food my mother still insists will give me food poisoning.

lahore-street-food

 

Lahore however has changed in a lot of ways, and not all change is good change. Oh there’s the little things of course, like the 101 new Resteraunts, cafes and ice cream places that seem to have popped up like weeds all over the place, or the sudden proliferation of bridges where before there had been only a confused jumble of traffic jams, but the big ‘change’ I’ve noticed is a marked swing towards money consciousness.

It’s kind of ridiculous how much people are suddenly effected by the brand of handbag their cousin’s niece was carrying to Monday’s soirĂ©e or by exactly how many outfits the neighbour’s daughter bought this season (and whether you bought more or less). I mean sure, being brand conscious is one thing but the women of Lahore seem to have crossed the line into crazy town with the amount of money (and effort) they are willing to spend to one up each other.

Summer is, as always, the worst offender. The hot weather calls for cotton clothes which are bought unstitched and than given to tailors for stitching. There used to be a time when you’d go to the cloth stores, buy some nice colors and prints, and get everything stitched within a reasonable price. Now though? Now every next society lady with textile mill connections is a ‘designer’ churning out atrociously expensive ‘designer prints’ (in limited quantities to ensure exclusivity of course) that everyone must wear or be shunned from polite society. The better ‘brands’ demand that you show up to their single location to pre-order from a catalogue without actually seeing the fabric, get bruised and battered by other ‘ladies’ trying to get their chosen dress before they run out, than show up at 8am to actually obtain it, all with no return or exchange policy.

lahore-lawn-exhibition

You aren’t privy to the secret pre-ordering timings/locations? Don’t worry! You can always show up to the single store carrying the damn brand at the (also) secret 3am sale to buy the elusive designer suits before they run out! Then it’s all a matter of paying tailors exuberant amounts of money in a bid to bribe them into stitching your clothes first so you can be the first to wear the new prints and win some unknown trophy.

Not up for the battlefield that is summer clothes shopping this year and thinking of just wearing last year’s stuff? That’s ok, as long as you’re prepared for the scorn of the style police who’ll fall all over themselves to point out that isn’t that LAST year’s print, which apparently makes it a criminal offender to wear it?

Think I’m exaggerating? Just watch the this video of when they open the gates at a typical ‘season launch’ of a brand.

Is it just me or does that seem cartoonish in it’s ridiculousness? life can be quite strange indeed..

 

Blur

life can seem like a blur, especially when there’s kids around to drive you frantic. Window shopping? Yeah right. I’m lucky to even get grocery shopping done without having to rush due to a toddler related emergency (Hungry? Sleepy? Tired? Need a diaper change? Need a kiss? All of the above?)

Which is why I’m thankful to have a mother who is willing to go shopping with me and for a toddler who is willing to be entertained for at least 15 mins before deciding to see how many packets of biscuits she can knock of the shelves before I can react.

Babies: keeping life interesting, one blurry day at a time.

toddler shopping 

What Is That?

… Was my question when I saw my friend chugging this strange looking drink at lunch today. This is without a doubt the weirdest looking drink I have ever seen:

drink

Procrastinating housewife’s guide to wintertime chores

Ah yes, spring is in the air and we finally seem to be close to shaking off the icy grip of winter’s clammy fingers. 

winter-snow-tree
pictured: winter’s clammy fingers

Everyone likes to hate on winter, the least liked of all the seasons. Me though, I like winter, if only because of the opportunities for procrastination it offers up. If Pinterest is anything to go by (and apparently it is), everyone yearns to be the perfect housewife/homemaker these days, but in reality, perfection is easier pinned than achieved. Winter though, with its layers of coats and scarves and snow, offers us not-so-perfect housewives at least the allusion of perfection. For instance:

1) Presentation is key so make sure to iron your husbands clothes daily. Though of course there’s no need to go crazy with it. Just iron the collar and cuffs, the rest will be covered by a sweater anyway. If by any chance your husband isn’t into sweaters, this might be a good time to gift him a few so he wears them, if only to escape your wrath.

ugly sweater
Don’t worry darling, the people at the office will love it!

2) when going grocery shopping, there’s no real need to change out of those pjs or do your hair. Simply pull on a long winter coat, pop on a hat and be on your way!

3) There is nothing quite like a home cooked meal but cooking every day isn’t the easiest of household duties. Remember: when all else fails, no one will say no to soup in the winter so simply whip up a load of broth and freeze it. Every day simply pull out a days worth, add your choice of meat and veggies and hey presto! Dinner is served!

 humor-housewife 

Enjoyed the tips on how to give the allusion of wintertime perfection? Then stay tuned for the procrastinating housewife’s guide to spring cleaning!

 

April Fool’s Day Done Right

April Fool’s Day pranks are notorious for getting out of hand or going too far but sometimes, someone manages to pull off something that is deliciously funny without causing outrage or confusion. Here’s to more pranks like the one below!

april-fools-day 

Any tales of funny April Fool’s Day pranks up your sleeve? I’d love to read about it so please share in the comments!



Image courtesy of @renzo_soprano

6 Lies I Told Today

1) I don’t need any help, I can manage.

2) Oh she’s an angel always! She never throws tantrums!

3) No I’m not dieting, I’m just not in the mood for pizza tonight.

max brenner hot chocolate
or in the mood for amazingly delicious hot chocolate…

4) Hahaha! That highly sexist joke about stay-at-home moms you just told was SO funny and not at all offensive!

5) I’m definitely going to the gym tomorrow. 

gym
this depressingly empty gym..
 

6) Oh don’t worry, I don’t mind running after my hyperactive toddler while you guys eat, I wasn’t hungry anyway.

Ephemeral

There are maybe a bazillion photographs online of sunsets and rivers and bridges, each more beautiful than the last. That being said, there is definitely something special about a perfect picture of a perfect sunset that you manage to capture yourself.

sunset-new-york 

In response to the weekly photography challenge.

Notes from Lahore: Triumph

Today’s photo 101 challenge was ‘triumph’ and nothing says triumph quite like an 8 story tall flag hanging off an unfinished building. What can I say, people may scream and shout and insist that they hate the place, but there’s no one to beat Pakistani  people when it comes to random acts of patriotism. pakistan flag